Friday, July 01, 2011

Assault of thoughts

The shape forming in my mind, the reminiscent of my thoughts is disconcerting me. My thoughts keep whirling in my mind like a tornado. Days followed by nights these thoughts pursue me like a cop after a thief, a hunter after an animal and like the pain after a bone fracture. I want to hide where they cannot chase me. But like the need for human beings to breath is constant, the need to capture these thoughts in words has become erroneously essential.
I can’t run, I can’t hide and I can’t escape my thoughts either. And when I do capture them, they flow like honey, gurgling river and without stopping for a breath it continuously flows out of my head. The relief is unimaginable and the craving for more is incredible.
It may take up days even months before these thoughts make any sense in words. But the coerce me to continue, physically I feel the jolt to type and type more. Like my mind and hands are possessed and I have no control. I live recluse because they don’t allow the space for anybody and anything. Even in my sleep the thoughts keep dancing and writhing in discomfort I wake up. Wake up with an urgent urge to pour them down.
What has happened to me?
Do I need help?
Maybe I do, this turmoil is more than I can handle. But the stories these thoughts spin are simply unimaginable. My publisher simply loves them but he is unknown about the assault these thoughts have on me.

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