Friday, June 25, 2010

Sunshine Rain

Gently pattering rain made the sound pitter-patter on my roof. I remember the poetry we had learned in our initial years of innocence. I held a hot mug of coffee in my hand staring into the slow and synchronized fall of the rain drops.

The silence that surrounded me felt like paradise after a long time. I enjoyed the sip of hot coffee while I saw the glorious sun peep out of the dark clouds. Sun shine made the raindrops look like diamonds falling from heaven. The scene was so picturesque that I had the instant urge to capture it with my Nikon.

I rushed inside and rummaged through my bag until I found what I was searching. I came outside and focused my camera lens. The view was perfect, absolutely fantastic! All the trees and plant that surrounded my cottage was glistening with the slight sunshine along with the dark clouds slightly showering away on their way somewhere.
My grandmother always told us a story about a wolf. A lonesome wolf was cursed for his wrong deeds. The wolf prayed long and hard to free himself of the curse of living alone forever. His prayers were answered and he was told that he would find his companion only when the sun shined and it rained simultaneously. Innocently we would ask our grandmother if the wolf ever found his companion. Her answer always mesmerized me. She would ask us to close our eyes, hear the thunder rumbling somewhere far and then the happy howls of two wolves that finally united even now when the sun shone while it rained.

My cousins who listened intently would enact each word and claimed that they could hear the happy howls of the wolves. I would shut my eyes hard and concentrate but I would never hear anything other than the rhythmic fall of rain. Once I cried through out the day and asked my grandmother why I was unable to hear them while all others could. She replied in a wise and sagacious manner. She said, “Open your heart child, just open your heart.”

With this thought in mind I captured the perfect scene. But when I slowly moved the camera away from my face I realized I was no more standing on my veranda. I was surrounded by thicket and it was still drizzling. I could hear the thunder rumble in partially blue sky. At the same time sun was shining down on me amidst the few dark clouds. Suddenly I see two wolves, prancing emerge through the thicket. Their eyes looked happy and content. They stopped just at a distance of ten feet away from me. They look up at the sky while the rain gleamed on their shiny golden coat. They let out a shrill howl. The sound almost shook me entirely. I was shivering from head to toe. The joy in their eyes could not be missed, even to a human like me. They left together, leaving me wondering if all this was real. But it was because I was wet and I still held the camera in my hand.

I quickly found my way back to the cottage. It was a small cottage where I spend most of my childhood summer with my grandmother. I could not believe what I had just witnessed. Had I finally opened my heart? I had seen the nature’s magic without any expectations. I felt my heart free of beliefs I held from life. Just this simple tale and a small out of the world experience made me realize the importance of living the moment. I learnt to take in any moment with an open heart.

I still have that day’s perfect picture framed next to my bedside. A constant reminder to keep my heart and mind open to all possibilities.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Little Me

I stared long and hard. Is it possible for a man to be so small? It was hot outside and my friends were following him from the time he entered our colony. Truthfully I was a bit tired of this game. They were laughing hysterically and mocking the little man. But I was curious to know who stitched his clothes as he wore a small topi and children size dhoti and kurta.

He was irritated and made a scornful face at us. It made all my friends enjoy their trick some more. Provoked they threw small stones at him. He suddenly stood still in his stride intimidating us with one chappal in his hand. We smirked as if scared of his act and retraced our steps. Satisfied, he quickly started walking towards his destination. One of the eldest in the group picked up a stone and threw at him once again. Fortunately it did not hurt him on his head, it hit his topi and it fell down. He quickly grabbed his topi with tears streaming down his little face. I don’t know if my friends noticed that in their snigger but that made me stop laughing. He hurried away quietly. I heard my mom scream my name. I said my goodbyes and left.

Later I narrated the afternoon episode to my mother. She did not approve of our behavior. She said, “God has made many of us different. We should not be making fun of them. Just imagine if you were him, how would you have felt?”

My mother left it at that. She was unlike the other mothers who would keep repeating one thing ten times. I have seen my friends mother do that, ‘Don’t stay back after 7 pm and come home.’ Or ‘It’s dark on the ground come back home soon.’ Or ‘I will complain to your father that you come home late’.

My mother would say just once that I would have to come back by 7pm. We were not allowed to play on the ground after that as it was unsafe. If I did not listen to the instruction I would get good thrashing. Later that night when I went to sleep I saw a dream that I did not ever grow more than my little size. I was treated the same way as that unknown little man.....

Friday, December 05, 2008

We will meet again and soon

His eyes searched for something deep inside my soul. My heart lurched when he looked, looked straight at me. His eyes were naked and the sight of his stature was just enough to make me feel as if someone dropped a lead inside my stomach. I smiled a slow smile that reaches up to your eyes when you are happy and content. Its good that I was sitting otherwise my knees would have buckled and I would have fallen. Oh God! I have fallen head over heels for him.
He knows that and I am glad he knows that I am all his. Out of all people, I suppose I did not expect to be weak, vulnerable and exposed to an extent that my hands rightfully found his and we held on as if there’s no tomorrow. I found my head lowered on his shoulder and my face found the perfect hollow of his neck. His warm breath on my face calmed me down. That moment made me feel the most secured person alive today.
Slowly an emotion welled up inside me that I could not describe. I couldn’t be less grateful to the Lord when an overwhelming sense of happiness wore on me. My eyes were moist and I could not understand the reason how one could feel happy and sad at the same time. His words were soothing and so endearing I couldn’t hear the din around me. The crowd vanished out of sight and it was just him sitting right next to me. Talking, explaining and justifying something I could not comprehend. Even in the cozy lull, the memory of a fierce rendezvous made my lips twitch wanting for more. “What more?” I thought. A slow grin appeared on both of our faces at the same time.
I wanted to scream I love you and I won’t ever leave you but I remained quiet. His questioning stare kept looking at me but my mouth found no words. I gulped down the emotion of just openly breaking down. I controlled myself from digging my face on his chest and cry. Cry until I feel we are one and no one can part us. We reached our destination and before parting we held each others eyes, communicating in silence. A silence which said it loud and clear that we will meet again and soon.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Mysterious Encounter

I touched my eyebrow where the sweat glistened. I saw my face in the rearview mirror and it resembled a sweltering pig. It was blistering hot and I didn’t have anything to drink since past six hours.

Driving was definitely a task I did not enjoy during autumn season especially for business purpose. I had to cancel such a fun date with Golu’s sister. She is so hot. I had met her twice at a mall and we instantly became friends. Now I know the reason Golu would not invite us home as he was hiding his amazing sister.

‘Oh! Why God, why do I have to go to Tekdi to meet the clients?’ I asked aloud.

The sun had set and the road was narrow that looked sinister in the evening shadows. I pay taxes, every year religiously, why doesn’t government utilize it towards placing some streetlights in these areas? I thought of playing some music which would hopefully divert my mind a little. These rented cars do not have a good music system or I could have played my favorite Mettalica CD. Now I will have to depend on the cheerless radio FM songs to while away my time.

While I looked at the music system to adjust the FM channels suddenly the car hit something hard and I applied the brakes. My heart was racing, my hands shivered while opening the door. I stepped out; darkness enveloped my surrounding except for the headlights of my car. I rubbed my eyes but could not see anything. There was nothing on the road. All of a sudden the radio started off loudly. I looked up with a start. There was no one. Strange, very strange! I shuddered with a blast of chilled breeze that hit my sweaty face. ‘What the hell happened?’ I yelled.

I have heard stories from my other colleagues about strange incidents that occurred to them on highways. I never believed any of it and blamed it on their susceptible nature for exaggeration. But this was first time ever when I felt a cold shudder of fear grip me.

I circled the whole car just to check if everything was fine. Then, I sat in the car and tuned the radio. Perhaps it had picked up a channel on its own. I sighed in relief and started the ignition.

I drove on an average speed. Shortly bright light flashed from behind. When I saw in the mirror I saw gargantuan tanker behind my car. I had never seen such a huge tanker in India except in Hollywood movies. It was grotesquely gigantic and its headlights resembled a thousand watt bulb. It blew its horn so loud that I gasped.

I swerved my car to the left side of the road to let it pass. Apparently it was in a hurry. The tanker did not budge as it was threateningly chasing my car. I changed the lanes to the right side so that the tanker could pass. Yet, it kept coming closer towards my car.
‘What was this man up to?’ I asked myself, ‘did I do something wrong?’
Now I sped my car if he did not want to overtake, ‘that’s fine!’ I exclaimed.
I constantly kept looking in my rearview mirror. I had not noticed that the radio had switched off on its own. These rented vehicles are no good.

I accelerated to the maximum speed limit. I could not see the tanker anymore in my rearview mirror, I laughed like a maniac.
‘Yes! I got rid of it.’ I laughed again in rejoice of my victory.

My laugh was immediately wiped out when I heard the earsplitting horn again. I slowed down and looked in the rearview mirror. Strangely, there was nothing behind. Suddenly the light flashed in front of me, it was the tanker’s headlight. It was in front of my car some distance away.
‘Holy shit, how did it manage to get there?’ I panicked.
I applied the brakes to stop the car immediately. The tanker started moving towards my car at a full speed. I had to do something. I changed the gear to reverse then turned the car around and drove like a maniac. Now I was scared to death! Should I call the Police? I thought. I looked at my phone which was long dead.

‘Think; think fast what needs to be done now’ I asked myself.

My car was hurled by the impact when the tanker collided with the rear end. My heart jumped into my throat, when I realized it wanted to kill me. I prayed that my car should not give up on me now. The car was badly hit. It trembled and would not pickup speed. The tanker hit the car again and this time the car lunged and turtled upside down. The engine was dying and was I dying with it too? I lost my consciousness with that last thought.

I became painfully aware that my body was fastened to the seatbelt and I was bleeding. I struggled with the seatbelt and it finally snapped. The car windows had already shattered. I could hear no sound outside other than the cricket in the fields. I crawled out of the window, some of the shattered glass pierced through my skin. I yelled with pain. I stood up with my knees trembling.
‘I was alive’ I gasped for breath.

The tanker had vanished and the road was empty. Blood was dripping from my forehead so I pressed the handkerchief to my head. Walking took a lot of effort, but I had to find help. Every step I took, I realized I could have been dead. I did not see any reason why someone would want to kill me.
‘Why would someone want to kill me?’ I asked aloud.

Though I did not know the answer I knew one thing for sure that the night had been one paranormal manifestation.
As I kept walking, abruptly chilled air surrounded me. Some lights blinked ahead on the road. A dark huge shadow started to rise from the ground. The monstrous shadow took a form of the tanker right in front of my eyes. I could not believe my own eyes. The tanker slowly started moving towards me. But there was no driver inside.
‘What was this? A ghost?’ I blinked my eyes as the tanker’s headlights blazed.
I covered my eyes with my hands. I stood there paralyzed unable to move. The tanker now moved speedily towards me. I knew within seconds, I’ll be dead.

A violent force knocked me out and tossed me high in the sky. I could clearly see the stars in the blue sky. I came crashing down and hit the ground hard.

My head was throbbing; it took all my strength to open my eyes. I was on a bed in a white room. A smiling doctor said something I could not understand. Then he tried again, ‘You are lucky, you survived the car crash. Your car toppled over a boulder. I wonder how you did not see it.’

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Please Don't kill me

"Let me Go" I yelled, he always wants to hold me, touch me.
It is disgusting to be held to one corner of a room day after day, night after night.
"Why can't I go away from here?" I asked nobody in particular.
But he always follows me, anywhere I go. Sometimes he hides when its dark but I know he is watching even then.
He is treacherous and I will not let him harm me in anyway.
I remember when he started following me. I was meeting Rekha for lunch; she is so beautiful. I had always wondered what it would be to feel her, touch her. After which I had taken her for a long drive to my beach house. We made love there, though she was shy and resisting it. I know she was just putting on an act to excite me. In the aftermath, I don’t know why she was calling me a monster. She was bleeding, it was gruesome. She was screaming, to shut her up I put pillow on her mouth. She kept kicking me and struggling. When she stopped screaming, she was breathing hard as if deprived of oxygen. She looked at me with wild eyes. I could not look at her like that. It contorted her face into something very ugly. I left and when I took last look at the beach house. It was eerily quiet and that is when I saw this dark figure emerge from the dark. I started running but he never left my side.
Everything after that has been a haze from then on. I kept going in and out of some stinking, dark places. Then I was transported to this place which was clean and had white walls.
Along with him, there are others who keep watching me. I am tired, I feel like I am caged for him. He from time to time makes his appearance. But I am smart I never allow him to come near me. I keep running in the room and shouting at him. Yet his hand is always outstretched to hold me, to touch me. When it becomes dark he hides I have been trying to figure where he hides. I call him my enemy but people here say he is my Silhouette. They don’t know how dangerous he is. He wants to kill me for hurting Rekha, he does I know. Please believe me, please.
Stop him from killing me, “Please don’t kill me.”

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Mellow Moon

A small attempt at poetry...here it goes

Soothingly moon hung in the sky
So strangely beautiful and lovely
Radiantly made my emotions fly
Loving memories were remembered sweetly

The silvery cast spread
swallowing up the dark
looks like a spell which people dread
Arousing feelings unashamedly stark

The luscious fullness
Steals away beauty of stars
Makes us dreamy full with lullness
Love stands out washing away all scars

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Jinxed Trip

Smoke rose from the hut, a small one with thatched roof and decorated windows. I wondered if I could ask for the directions there. I was tired and lost in the woods. I have never been a keen walker, plus being a city dweller it's impossible for me to find this adventurous. I should have never listened to my friend about this trip into the woods.
I slowly approached the hut and knocked. The aroma was quite delicious or maybe I was hungry. A beautiful woman opened the door, I smiled my best smile. She looked surprised and then I saw a gleam in her eyes, very unnatural.
“Hello…, I am lost.” Wow! What a wonderful opening sentence.Without saying anything she ushered me in with a sweep of her hand.
It was a strange hut, funny masks which almost resembled human faces. She pointed to a seat which looked like a very huge pan, I hesitated. It all seemed strange.
“I just need directions.” I said helplessly.
I noticed the boiling pot on the stove, of an enormous size. I could fit into it easily was a crazy thought I had.
Those were my last thoughts anyways.