Saturday, August 02, 2008

Jinxed Trip

Smoke rose from the hut, a small one with thatched roof and decorated windows. I wondered if I could ask for the directions there. I was tired and lost in the woods. I have never been a keen walker, plus being a city dweller it's impossible for me to find this adventurous. I should have never listened to my friend about this trip into the woods.
I slowly approached the hut and knocked. The aroma was quite delicious or maybe I was hungry. A beautiful woman opened the door, I smiled my best smile. She looked surprised and then I saw a gleam in her eyes, very unnatural.
“Hello…, I am lost.” Wow! What a wonderful opening sentence.Without saying anything she ushered me in with a sweep of her hand.
It was a strange hut, funny masks which almost resembled human faces. She pointed to a seat which looked like a very huge pan, I hesitated. It all seemed strange.
“I just need directions.” I said helplessly.
I noticed the boiling pot on the stove, of an enormous size. I could fit into it easily was a crazy thought I had.
Those were my last thoughts anyways.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Humour Me

“This discussion has gone quite far.” He said, inadvertently trying to exude the remaining mental peace. His shoulder was throbbing and he could concentrate no further.
“Alright, then humor me, for a while.” She said not convinced yet giving him a chance.
“I did not do it. Now do you want me to explain it further, would you even listen?” He pursed his lips in frustration.

She smiled even in a situation like this. She wanted to say ‘No’ but her sheer nature to always come up with the unexpected answer allowed her to say, “Yes I would, why don’t you tell me without wasting any further time.” She looked at her watch to give her speech a final touch.
He was mildly surprised that she said ‘Yes’ but he should have known otherwise. He had an affair with her for two years, until recently, six months back when she had asked him to stop meeting her as her husband was getting suspicious. He was happy as he had his secretary to have fun with in her place.
“Okay, I was chasing him, but he stopped suddenly as if sensing my presence. I quickly hid behind a pillar. I heard the gun shots and I peeked to see. That’s when the bullet came tearing into the flesh of my shoulder. I saw a black Ford and its window rolling up. I staggered near his body and fell unconscious. I cannot be accused of his murder. Its not possible.” He finished.
“Then how do you explain the gun in your hand, when they found you? She adjusted her glass frame and scrutinized him.
“We have gone over and over about this. It is my gun but I wasn’t carrying it with me. I don’t know how it was there in my hand when they found me.” He almost cried out aloud.
“Do you think I am a fool? You hired me and you are paying a good amount. Let me remind you for every hour that you spend wasting, giving me a story full of crap. I don’t think you have understood the implication of this accusation, or the situation that we are having a conversation in a jail about a murder, just not any murder but that of my husband. Oops I meant my late husband.” She winked at him.
“My hour is up as your lawyer.” She got up and left.
With nothing to do in his cell, he looked out of the only 12”inch by 12’inch window. He was shocked to see her get into a black Ford and drive away.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Fragile Beauty

Whisper of cold enwrapped her; she was able to feel the cold up to her brittle bones.
“Where is my blanket?” She wondered.
She slipped her feet in the woolen slippers. Her knees invariably croaked in an effort to get up from the rocking chair. She rubbed her wrinkled hands for warmth but failing miserably. Her hair still long and in the wave of white, black wasn’t amiss.
He watched her from behind the kitchen counter. She was murmuring something to herself, but in the quiet of the house he heard it as a soft song playing just for him. Her tall slender figure in those famous blue silk was fumbling to find the blanket. She tripped over a chair and with agility unknown to an old man; he was there at an instant to hold her at that moment.
Her stricken wide brown eyes had the same spirit she had some twenty years ago. It is so strange that her eyes never looked old. Her fragile body in his hand felt so perfect and her beauty could not have ripened any better with age. The most prized possession in his hand smiled. A smile he always fell in love, every time he saw.
In her soft voice, laughing she said, “You saved a visit to the doctor, Roy.”

Friday, May 02, 2008

Without You - Part Two

It was morning and the sun rays hit me hard on the face. I covered my face with my hand as I woke. The bed clock chimed, tick tock, 12:00 pm, Sunday 20 April.
“Oh damn!” I said, “I am late.”
Viola has asked me to come with her to church. After the sermon we were going to discuss the date for our marriage with the priest. I looked at my cell phone forty two missed calls from Viola. I was supposed to pick her up at 8am for church. I was cursing myself for such callousness.
I had no nerve to call Viola up, what would I say, “Honey, I am sorry I missed our date with the priest.”
My head ached from too many drinks yesterday. Suddenly someone was pounding my door. With each pounding my headache worsened. Oh God! Do I really have to guess who it was? I had done this third time; she will not forgive me, will she? I hesitated before opening the door. But when I did, it was a treat to sore eyes. Viola my mouth formed without any sound. She was in her best lemon yellow Sunday dress. Her face shiny and covered with her black curly hair. A small stream of sweat dribbled down her cheek. Her eyes covered with fashionable shades.

She did not say anything just marched inside his room, her heels clacking on my marble floor. I looked at my room through her eyes. Beer bottles were strewn everywhere. Whiskey in glasses and half eaten pizzas were lying on the floor. TV was loudly screaming something at both of us. She took the remote and shut it. “Oh my God.” I thought I said, but no it was Viola.
“Leslie” she turned removing her shades. Her eyes were green or grey I could not come to decide yet after four years of knowing her. They were full of fire and questions, and they held so much heat I backed two steps.
“Honey” I stammered, “I can …”
“No I don’t want any explanations. I am not stupid.” She glared when she thought I was going to say something. “No don’t utter a word. I am tired, Leslie. You promised you would come this time. You know what I think now. You don’t want to get married to me. You don’t love me anymore.” When I did not say anything, she continued, “You don’t even love God. You have no faith. I am just a mere human being, you can easily forget.”
She always brought God between us. I hated it. It was a sore point. What had me loving her have anything to do with God.
“I detest going to church. I don’t want to listen to anyone who thinks he can make good of me. Who is God? Have you seen him?” I paused, “No I don’t think so. What has all that got to do with whether I love u or want to get married to you?” I yelled.

She looked palled, taking few breaths she said, “Leslie, we love each other because God has blessed us. He is the one who brought us together. And before him I want us to bind ourselves for eternity. Don’t you want that?” she asked benignly.
That’s it I could not control myself, my anger. We had this discussion many times to wane.
“I don’t want that.” I blurted, “I don’t want anything from you or your God. I did everything possible to bring us together. There was no God; it was my and your desire to be together. And we are. But I am tired I don’t know, whether I want you anymore? Whether we even should be together?” Then I paused in my heightened speech. Like a devil had possessed me I said,
“I don’t know, whether I love you anymore.” I pressed my hands to my temple closing my eyes.
It would have been few seconds but when I looked up she was stunned. Tears brimmed her eyes, all the fire had died down replaced by melancholy.
“If that’s what you think, I will leave it to God now to decide whether we were made for each other. Goodbye Leslie.”
Not again I thought, yet God gets to decide that for her. I saw her walk swiftly out of my door, and my life.

I don’t know how long I had been kneeling at the altar of all Gods. I didn’t know whether he would listen to me, if he existed. But I believed in the power of her love, love of God. I went back up. Uncle was not there, I slowly went back in to see her. She looked angelic and such mystic powers she held. She was my God and I was losing her.

Months had passed since her accident. And as the doctor had said, “Recovery of consciousness is followed by post traumatic amnesia (PTA), when the person is alert and may be able to converse normally but has lost continuous memory.” I would say it was miracle or I had started believing in God. She did not remember the whole day of events on the day of accident.

She sat in the wheelchair, her legs paralyzed after the accident. Doctor said it is curable but may take months or even years for her to be able to walk again. But my Viola was alive and with me, we were together. He had heard my prayer. He is there, is now my belief.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Without You - Part One

The rain was pouring. The news had shaken me out of my wits. My Viola, my dearest viola was in the hospital. How could that be? I regretted instantly my foolhardy decision to go to this erroneous party. I was driving like a lunatic. I had to be there sooner than it’s too late.

The nurse at the hospital had called me, to say Viola D’cruz had met with an accident. She had found my business card in Viola’s purse. My thoughts were in turmoil, where was she going in this downpour? What had happened? Was it me and our last fight? No, I did not want to think of the worst. I was just few blocks away.

At the hospital I rushed to the reception. She mentioned 5th floor, ICU. I took the steps two at a time, forgetting completely about the elevator. Panting when I had reached the corridor, uncle D’cruz was sitting on the bench, he had his head in his hands. I slowly stood next to him dreading to know about her condition.
“Leslie!” he exclaimed, “my dear boy, Viola…”
Her name came out in whisper. At that moment my heart cringed, I kneeled down, tears stinging my eyes. I could not find my voice, I was thinking the worst.
“What happened, uncle?” my voice was hoarse.
“She called me late and said she was coming home. The hospital said that the taxi was crushed by a truck on the road. The taxi driver died instantly and our Viola has been injured badly.”

The doctor came out to meet them, “Who is from the family here of the patient?”
“We are.” I blurted wanting to know what it was actually the doctor had to say.
“Please do come in my office, I need to discuss the matter with you.” He said edgily.
Uncle looked helplessly at me, I assured him with my look. “I will come with you.”
I was shaking from inside did it show, I wondered. I sat tersely on the seat. “Well I am her fiancĂ©, doctor please tell me how is she?” I thought I sounded desperate, so be it.
“She is suffering from diffuse axonal injury.” He said noting I looked blank he continued, “Which is one of the most common and devastating types of traumatic brain injury. In the accident, her head was rapidly accelerated or decelerated and that has caused this injury. The severity of it indicates loss of consciousness that is she is in coma right now.”
“What does that mean, doctor, will she be fine?” I asked eagerly.
“Well, I don’t know how long she will be in coma; we are trying our best with all medications. We have to monitor if the drugs are working or not. Please have patience, Mr. …?
“I am Leslie Fernandez” I said absently. I continued not satisfied with what was I supposed to do now, “Doctor, what will happen now, what can we do to make it better?”
“Mr. Fernandez I am sure u feel anxious, but we have to just wait for the medications to work. I have seen patients come through a coma, but the problem is that this is quiet severe. Those who do wake up, 90% of the times often remain significantly impaired. Let’s hope for the best and…”
“And Doctor??” I asked impatiently.
“Prayers might help, Mr. Fernandez.” He smiled benignly.
I left the room dazed, prayers. I hadn’t been to church for a long time. That was one of the complaints Viola had. I met uncle and told him what the doctor had to say.
“I am shaken from this son; I don’t want anything to happen to my dearest girl. Go see her, be with her, it might help. I have heard even when unconscious they can hear you. I will go down for a bit.” Saying that the old man left, gimping on the way.
I entered the room noiselessly. She was on the bed with all the tubes jutting everywhere. The monitor was beeping in rhythm incessantly. Her head was bandaged and her face had few injuries. She looked frail and life seemed to have fled from her body. I sat down on the stool afraid of touching her. It is so strange I was afraid of touching her, where as I often held her closely. With some courage, I held her hand in my hands.
“I am sorry baby, I really am. I don’t want to lose you. You are so precious even though I have said hateful things. Please forgive me, come back to me.” I cried softly knowing quiet well there is a chance she may not hear at all. I won’t have it; she would have to come back to me. She could not punish me like that. She was wonderfully soft hearted.

I left my anguish along with me. I could not see her so lifeless. Uncle was sitting out when I came out.
“Where are you going, son?” he asked.
“Uncle, I have to go now. But I will be back. Please call me if anything, anything happens.”
I could not go home. I wandered in the hospital; there was a room that had God of all religions. I sat down in a corner. Thoughts were swirling in my head. Her smile, her voice, her eyes, her soft touch, her kind words, her nagging, her jolliness, her silliness, her…
I looked at all the God’s. He is one right; I closed my eyes bent on my knees. I didn’t know what to say. I just did.
“I have loved her and I will always love her. I want her to know that. I want her to be with me forever, happy and smiling. Not like this, it can not end like this. Please don’t take her away from me, don’t you see? I need her.”
I sat down remembering the time before her accident.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Princess finds her Unicorn

The mild ray of the sun is ruffling her in her sleep. The flimsy curtain is not at all protecting her from the sun. A sleeping beauty awakens from her sleep. She finds her mother working up a mess near her.
“Princess, are you awake?” asked her mother from the middle of the mess.
Instead of replying she slides from the mattress and looks sternly at the sun as if to punish him for waking her up. Her curly hair toppled over her wide forehead. Her eyes shined the color of sea in the middle of the day. Her white robe flew in the breeze. Her imperial sight fixed on something her mother could not decipher.

Her mother stood next to her to watch the object of her sight. It is a white pony her father had just brought from the village last night.
She claps her hand in delight and looks at her mother with an irrevocable smile. The two dimples making an impression in apple like cheeks.
“Ma, it is the unicorn from the stories you told me.”
“Well princess, it’s a …yes the unicorn, dear.” Her mother hesitated, what could a small lie do to a little girl’s dreams.
“Pa brought it for me…” and with that she ran towards the startled little white pony. He looked up forgetting to chew on the grass he was offered. She came close to inspect him. With apprehension she touches his soft wet muzzle. He snuggles up to her touch. She smiles her dimpled smile at him. The princess has found her unicorn.
“You are mine from now on, forever my dearest unicorn.” She claims him with her word as that is all she has got.

“Princess it is time we left” her mother called.
“No mother I will not come today, I want to stay with my unicorn.” She rebels.
She sits promptly on the ground waiting for her mother to serve her breakfast. Her mother, who always had desolate eyes, regards her with sadness. Her mother poured the rice broth in her plate. That will have to do for now. They did not have any rice left for dinner. The makeshift which was their home for now was on a broken decrepit road. At the end of the road there is a small children’s park. Where her mother sometime took her and brought her peanuts to eat. She loved the swing in the park and she could swing for hours. But the watchman would chase them away as if they were some wild animals. Father would hardly have any time to join them. She missed her father’s lap, where she sat and looked up at the sky when he was home. The stars twinkled at her. They told her stories her mother and father failed to tell her.
She finished her broth quiet quickly, she was very excited.
“Mother, did you have yours?” she asked dutifully, as sometimes mother forgets to eat her breakfast.
“Yes princess, long before you were awake.” Her mother lied as always. There was never enough for everybody.
“Common now, let’s go. We will be back soon, I promise.” Her mother coaxed. She was wearing the same gown once they had stumbled upon in a dumpster. Mother had washed it unsuccessfully for hours with water to remove the stains on the linen. Today she did not want to go anywhere with her mother in scorching heat to look through dumpsters, dustbins and garbage to look for things which could be sold. Once they had found a gold necklace which mother allowed her to wear sometimes? They had not sold the necklace though the stars had told her it would fetch them a lot of money. Her mother and she had been selfish enough to let it be their secret.
They found lots of small treasures in the dumpsters; they felt like the pirates who found their hidden treasures. They had found a broken vase with some old letters stashed in them. Neither of them could read the letters or were they treasure maps they had no idea. They also found some of the furniture for their makeshift house in the scavenge hunting. A small broken chair and three legged table, that’s what included in the list of their royal furniture. They gathered all kinds of paper and plastic, metal, wooden stuff, shoes and clothes. They got few Rupees every day out of the loot they collected.

They sold the loot to a merchant who dealt with wasted things and had become rich over a period of time. Her mother told her the story; he had married a rich girl from the neighborhood. The rich girl’s father had died of heart disease soon and the merchant had inherited all the wealth. The rich girl had become from once happy girl to now a deplorable one. The merchant would drink too much and beat the poor rich girl. Once when she was on her fathers lap, she saw the rich girl hide from the merchant and run away from their house. She prayed that day to the shining stars to guide the way for the rich girl in the dark.

Her mother once again instigated her to accompany, to the dumpster. It did not make sense as the there will be no one to watch the princess’s unicorn. Once the idea prevailed and understood by her mother. She went on her own journey of hidden treasures, leaving the princess with her unicorn.

Princess wanted to treat her unicorn but neither did she have sugar cubes nor any sugarcane tubes. She went to the closest dustbin from where she could watch her Unicorn. She hunted through the debris but alas she found a broken head of a spoon. It looked like a silver spoon she might have come across. She quickly went to the corner jewel shop.
“I want to sell this…” she pointed to the spoon.
The jeweler took it and looked at her curiously. He saw her tattered chapal and stitched old gown. Her hair was not combed and all the curls were falling on her face. Her dirty nose with dusty cheeks just completed her.
“Who are you and where did you get this?” he asked her sternly.
He was not the merchant to whom they usually sold all their goods. She could not go alone and leave her unicorn all alone.
“I am princess and I need to sell this.” She said firmly.
The Jeweler laughed cynically, but indeed the spoon head was silver. It was a lucky day for this beggar girl he thought to himself. He gave her some money; she would not know the real value of the spoon. She took it without any hesitance. This was going to be her secret. Then from store next to the jewel shop she bought the big sugar cubes.

She approached her magical unicorn slowly, so she wouldn’t scare him. His ears stood up with her arrival and his nose had guessed he was going to be treated today by this little girl. She stroked his head with her gentle hand. He nudged with a request for more. He had always been carrying woods for humans. But he wanted to carry this little girl on his back and run far away into the woods. In the search of his beautiful mother whom he does not now, quiet remember. She uncurled her palm and there were his treat, the sugar cubes. She incessantly fed them to him. He splurged with all the love and hunger for the cubes and then for the princess. The played for quiet a while until the secret worlds were revealed. Her father came home. And as a wizard waves his wand, she jumped with joy and a smile tugged her father’s lips as he saw his daughter. He scooped her up in his arms and called out loudly,
“My princess, my princess.”
She chuckled when his bearded face brushed her delicate cheeks. He threw her up in the air. She shrieked with joy, knowing he would safely catch her.
Her mother returned, with some vegetables in her hand. Her father nodded, and her mother acknowledged. She took the princess inside and diverted her mind with aimless storied of her hunt today. But princess was watching her father he untied her unicorn and was walking it away from their hut towards the park her mother often took her.
“Pa, where are you taking him?” She asked sweetly.
“Just here, my dearest, taking the mule for an exercise.” He said uncomfortably. Her eyes did not leave the trail of her father and the unicorn. They indeed went to the park; there her father was talking to a couple, a father and his son. Excitedly the son sat on her unicorn. As if they connected from far apart the unicorn looked at her direction. A small tear left her big black eyes as she watched her unicorn trod along the park with the boy on his back. The evening wore on and in the dim of the streetlight she kept watching as children lined to sit on her own dear unicorn. Helplessly he allowed them on his back and gently treads along the way with her father.
In meanwhile her mother watched the whole episode and tried to soothe her daughter. She would not talk or look at her mother nor would she eat. She was angry with the world who took away her beloved unicorn. When her father returned she was awake and waiting.
“My Princess…come sit on your mule and we will walk.” He held his arms wide open, cue for her to come running at the suggestion.
The magic had gone; her unicorn was stolen away from her by her beloved father. She simply looked at him with wrath and her eyes fell on her unicorn. He made some noise and nudged his head. He shivered under the moonlight. Her father moved away, as if instructed by some mystic force.
The unicorn looking milky white in the moonlight slowly came where she stood. He licked away her tears. He looked down and then flapped his white wings and small cone emerged on his head. His eyes were dewy and full of laughter. She hugged him with the innocence known to small princess. He beckoned her to sit on him. She royally mounted him. His wings flapping he started to run on the deserted road with the princess giggling on his back. He flew away with her to the promised woods where he awaited the mystical future.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Leap High Above

With the occasional breeze brushing across my face, I kept looking at the entrance of the station. Sweat was trickling from one corner of my face with the hot autumn sun. I kept looking at every person who passed by me. One lady pushed me with her rear side without even realizing that she did that. I noticed that she did not know what her rear side had just done while bending and I pardoned her. After all she was not making me wait for ages.

I looked at the chattering lady police and she was not doing what she needs to do. After the bomb blast in Mumbai, I thought they would be frisking anyone with huge luggage. She glanced at me once when she saw my gaze for than a minute on her. I quickly prayed that, he should now come sooner.

Though my prayer was not completely answered, God has his own way of doing that. He did not come yet but he called. I answered without saying hello,
“Where are you?”
“I am right outside, Priye”
He had the habit of annoying me more by calling me ‘Priye’ when I am at the peak of my frustration.
“Then why aren’t you coming in?”
“Darling, just step outside and we will go.”
“But aren’t we going in train, I don’t want to go in auto or taxi for that matter.”
“Will you ever listen to me.” he sighed, “please come out priya, I am serious.”
I hung up and walked out of the station. I could not see him anywhere. I would kill him if this was a prank I thought to myself. I saw a hand waving at me from one crowded corner; the person was inside a car. At closer look I realized it’s him. I hurried down the path with my mouth wide open, as the car looked brand new.
“Whose car is it?” I asked him suspiciously.
He grinned and opened the door for me.
“Priye let me be your chauffeur today.”
I took seat knowing he was being romantic and constant questions about the car would simply spoil the fun.
There was no doubt in my mind that the car was brand new because I could smell the new plastic in the car. We drove to the nearest beach. On the way he would look at me and give me a sheepish smile.
I smiled back at him with all the love I always felt for him.
“Jaan, do you want to tell me something?”
“Not now, wait for some more time.”
He parked the car carefully and we walked towards the salty breezy air. The sound of crashing waves on the shore and the illimitable blue sky wavered above our heads. It was a wonderful beginning of an evening. He held my hand firmly as we moved towards the sea.
“Priya, I bought that car today. Did you like it?”
I was astounded by the news, which he gently delivered. Not once did he mention anything about buying the car during their conversation. The deal may not have been settled for a week. He did it for us, I was not sure yet but this definitely is an indication.
“You dint say anything about this before.” She said beaming, “I love the car, and it’s simply perfect.”
“I hoped you would like it, I wanted to surprise you.” He smiled.
“That you certainly did, darling.” She giggled.
They walked the shore hands in hand and enjoying the breeze. Splashing water on each other once in a while and giggling like school children. We came across a patch, nobody was around. As we sat down cuddling to each other, he said quietly, “Priya do you see the sun going down?”
I was baffled with his question and answered simply, “Yes.”
“I would like to see the sun rise, with you right beside me.”
Today was a day of surprises; I quiet did not understand what he meant. I looked into his eyes for an answer. They were clear and honestly determined, with no malice lacing them. When my eyes held a question, he answered it in whisper.
“Forever…”
He produced a ring out of nowhere and waited for me to say something. My mouth seemed to cease working to any instructions my head gave.
“Yes I would love that.” I managed to finally say.

There after we just talked about our future and all the lovely things we would do together. We left the beach and sat in the quiet of the car.
“I can’t wait to tell this to didi. She would be overjoyed.”
He smiled and we drove out of that place.
“Let me accompany you when you do that. After all we have to ask her permission.” He said.
I looked at him, “I love u." as he bent towards me to kiss I said, "let’s get married soon.” He kissed me while he was taking a turn and an impending truck banged into our new small car. Flying high in the sky taking away all our plans into one single moment of death.

We leap into the world with all our joyous rightfulness hoping to fly through it. But when we start to fall like a rock from sky we wonder, why at all did we jump? Then we realize we did jump for a reason and if we dint fly the reason has stopped to exist.